Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
