So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you bring me the toilet please
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
