They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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