the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
