coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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