Apparently you make a good broom.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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