He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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