I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize