I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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