I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
