I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
