Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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