too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
