you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
