my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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