apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
