he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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