"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
