You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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