they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sext me about skeletons
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
