I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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