I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize