somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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