if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
