i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
