hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
