It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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