It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Your penis caused this!
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