It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
