I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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