She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
