I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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