I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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