actually, I'm a sock model
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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