he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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