One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize