So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
