Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
