we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize