therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
