did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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