In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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