i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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