I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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