she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
