hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
