i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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