yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
