I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
