Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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