i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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