Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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