i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
