I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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