ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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