He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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