i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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