you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
