Pants 0. Shit 1.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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