i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
