Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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