He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
